MARKED


I saw this from my friend’s Facebook page and this led me to a reflection on what makes people soft-hearted.

Is it their environment? Is it their upbringing? Is it because they lack confidence? Are they really weak? Are we not supposed to be soft-hearted?

As for me, environment and upbringing are key factors, I was exposed to social work at an early age; the value of kindness and compassion has been taught. But growing up, I suddenly realized that the world is not kind, people are not easy; there is a need to blend in, to respond to hostility and the call to harden the heart. Like a normal human being I do get angry, I express disgust and even sarcastic at times but it never lasts, it never consumes me. I remember a friend who even scolded me because i was giving too many chances even if it hurts me.

I don’t know about you but for me being soft-hearted is a Gift. It is never a sign of weakness or lack of confidence but of Love. God created us to have a soft and ever-renewing heart:

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. – Ezekiel 36:26

It is our mark. Soft and tender heart available for His will. The world is tough, cruel and filled with lies, a heart that is attuned to God and to His ways will always choose to love, to trust and to give second chances.

Our heart will be cold sometimes, loving would be difficult but Heart will surely get back to its original purpose – to love.

Grace for the Moment; Letting go of Worries and Trusting God’s plan and ways


What’s in waiting that makes people uneasy? I think I have answered this question 4 years ago when i just started this blog. The uncertainty and the fear of what lies ahead, and the desire to move forward and hasten a new start, this and more makes me feel uneasy. I am again at the waiting end.

Last month, i made a decision to leave the company that I have been working for the last 2 years here in Malaysia. I accepted an offer from a global company and thought that transitioning won’t take that long. Being a foreign worker in this country my visa needs to be transferred from former company before i could start working. I have been waiting for my visa for the last 3 weeks and boredom has been hitting me from day 1. Although I am grateful for the rest that I have enjoyed for the past weeks, i’m starting to feel uneasy.

Today, I was reflecting on what the Lord wants to tell me, I came across the movie entitled “The Encounter” and while watching i was embarrassed when the Lord reminded me of the same message that He has been telling me from last week.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

This is also the same passage that we discussed during the last household meeting I had with my Singles for Christ sisters last week.

What the Lord has been telling me is simple yet i didn’t see and understand it fully.

I may have taken a break from the corporate world but did i ever open up to the rest that the Lord wants to give me? I have rested physically, rested from doing the usual activities that a corporate life requires but i think i haven’t completely surrendered to Him. The rest that the Lord wants to give is asking me to put my hope and trust in Him alone. It requires putting aside my worries, my doubts and fear of the unknown. He wants me to put the totality of my heart into the things that he is allowing me to experience. As i look back to the last weeks that I have spent, i realized that all the activities i have done, from running, hiking, eating, going for movies, and even serving in church (for both SFC and SSO), all these activities I have considered as something to distract me from boredom while waiting to start a new job. What a shame! I didn’t even see that it’s God special way of giving me true rest and calling me back to serve him with ever burning zeal for His work and mission. He has been telling me, “Majane, the yoke I gave you is easy but you take on so much from this world, so much worries and cares that burdens you”.

Why I didn’t see that? Why did i allowed myself to be anxious about something that i cannot control? But the Lord woke me up, all it takes was a deep conversation with Him in prayer.

Today i still have fears, i still have uncertainties but having reminded by God on how i should view things gives my heart a complete rest and enables me to trust him more and be joyful in my waiting.

I will now run, swim, meet friends and take advantage of this break by allowing myself to be used by the Lord in His mission, not to get myself out of boredom but because this is where God wants me to experience His grace and delight in His presence. A perfect rest, His planned break for me.

I still don’t know if I would be able to start working next week, but there’s one thing I am certain of; my God will never abandon me and will always give me the grace to move forward despite uncertainties.

I am God’s Beloved


“When God calls us to gather, he has a gift for us.”

October 19 – 20 was a weekend of surprises, affirmation and empowering love. I came to the SFC National Conference in Singapore with an open heart for whatever the Lord will speak to me. I was able to attend the same conference last July before I leave for Malaysia but I was still excited to attend the conference knowing that the Lord will speak to me differently. True enough, he made me experience the conference as if it was my first time. My greatest realization is that, He is a very personal God. Let me tell you how the Lord expressed His sweetest love for me that weekend:

1. He emptied me from all my fears and doubts, all His messages from the talks speaks about His plans and assurance that He is the one taking control of my life and situation.

2. He affirmed me of my mission and calling. I came to KL trying to discover my purpose and mission. While trying to get the hang of the life in KL I am also trying to ask the Lord how I can be of help to SFC KL. He made me see a lot of things and the situation of the community, and during that conference, I spoke to one of the leaders in SFC whom I really wanted to speak with. From Him, my questions was answered and I became even more excited to be used by the Lord in KL. Fears and doubts no longer succumbs me, In my heart I know that I have surrendered everything and put my trust in Him as he commanded me to be a witness to Malaysia. I am confident that the Lord who loves me unconditionally will also allow me not to put limits on my loving.

3. All the people that I spent the weekend with, the whole SFC KL, SFC Singapore, Kuya Noli, Ate Iris, and my friend Jayson who welcomed us to his home manifested the love of God in the most perfect way.

4. When the program ended, I saw my favorite couple Tito Melo and Tita Nini Villaroman outside the venue and I even had a chance to have a small talk with them. They never fail to inspire me and the always exemplifies God’s love.

A lot of things had happened but still I can hear the Lord declaring, “Majane, You ain’t seen nothing yet”.

1391811_757165737633426_235135338_n

Happy Birthday to my GREATEST LOVE :)


They say that your first image of God as a Father is your Dad, your first ideal man and the first man you loved.

I consider myself blessed because God gave me a really loving and compassionate Father, someone who never fails to remind me how precious I am and that I am his princess.

Today as He celebrates his birthday, I have been reminded how he made all the sacrifices just to be able to raise all four of us and how he constantly allows us to feel his unconditional love. Me and my siblings especially mama are indeed blessed to have him.

As the youngest, he made me feel like his princess. He’s always patient with me, he waits for me to get home, he ensures my safety and would often wait until I ride an FX and make sure that I’ll be at work safe.

I remember mama told me a story of how her life was threatened when she gave birth to my brother, he told papa that she doesn’t want to gave birth anymore and even asked for his permission on ligation procedure. However, papa insisted that she wanted to have a girl as his youngest, so when mama gave birth to me, papa really showered me with so much affection.

He disciplines us not by force but by love, there was never a time that he hurt us physically. He would always talk to me and explains why there are things that I should or shouldn’t do. His compassion allows me to love and show compassion to others as well.

Now that he’s 59 years old, my prayers for him is that God will blessed him with good health and long life.

I love you Papa. Happy Happy Birthday!

Image

Celebrate God’s Faithfulness


Almost a week from now we’ll have the Lord’s Day celebration for the CLP Loreto. I still can’t believe that we are now on the closing end. A lot of things happened, new relationship was developed and old relationship was renewed and strengthened. Needless to say, the CLP is an experience of God’s faithfulness not only to the participants but more on the service team.

When I accepted the service of being the Team Leader for this program, my life has never been the same. When it is true that I have encountered a lot of struggles, oppression and challenges, God’s grace, generosity and blessings also fills my cup.

Through this CLP, I become more prayerful and more relational. I have found a new relationship with my SFC brothers and sisters. We have 26 new brothers and sisters who will soon join us in our service to the Lord through our chapter WestB1A.

My journey in Singles for Christ is more on witnessing. Witnessing the Lord on the face of my brothers and sisters and allowing others to see God in me as well (I hope they did). 😀

Last Tuesday night we had a service meeting for the Lord’s Day. I am so grateful for this CLP Team and surely after the CLP, I’ll be missing our Tuesdates.

These people are God’s gift to me and the CLP is just a way for us to know each other and serve God more deeply.

I’m excited for the Lord’s Day. I know it will mark the end of our Christian Life Program thus signifies new beginning for all of us and our new brothers and sisters. It is more than enough reason for us to celebrate God’s faithfulness at its best.

Daily Reflection – I am FOUND


If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them goes astray, will He not leave the ninety-nine in the hills and go in search of the astray? – Matthew 18:12

Today’s gospel speaks about the unlimited capacity of God to accept us and care for us. Like the shepherd to his sheep, we are valued and uniquely important to Him that He will search for us and pursue us though we’re the only one lost. He will do everything to find us and bring us back to His loving fold.

I am losing my focus lately,  there are so many things that demands or even commands my attention. I have thought of escaping, although I don’t know how. Today, God reminded me that He already found me and I cannot escape His love. I just have to go back to that one purpose – to love the way He loves.

I have to find my way back to that purpose. I have to Focus.

Befriending Struggles


 “Since God has given us this life, we can trust Him for the necessary things in our life.”

I pondered on this statement last night and at that moment I felt God’s peace; at the point of nothingness He embraced me. For the past 2 weeks, life has been throwing a lot of challenges and yesterday’s event was the least that I could ever think of.

This month, I’ve been helping my parents and my brother financially for his wedding and just after we settled payments in Bicol (where the wedding will took place), my niece and nephew was hospitalized and confined for 3 days, followed by my Aunt who met an accident. My family is really struggling to balance our expenses and my sister needs assistance to pay the hospital bills. By the grace of God we were able to survive and save so we can then pay the balances on the suppliers.

I thought everything will run smoothly while waiting for my brother’s wedding, my mom was all set to go to Bicol before an event happened yesterday. I was at the office celebrating for a successful placement when I received a call from my mom and my sister who are really devastated. We’ve been robbed and we lost all the cash that we have (what we save for my brother’s wedding). That moment, I want to go home and check what I have lost. I left my wallet, with all my cash at home and my ipod – all was taken away. On my way home, I was really crying thinking about my family and what we have lost. Maybe, if we are on a different status and if we are not preparing for a wedding, it will not be as painful as that.

I cried the most when I saw the situation of my room, my clothes are on the floor and my drawers are opened. That sight took all the strength left in me, I was really sad but I can no longer change the situation. I lost my money and valuable items but the whole family is safe. That pushes me to look up and thank God because my mom, my niece and nephew are not there when someone entered the house. I am just hoping and praying that somehow, what was taken from us will be used for something important.

During my prayer time, God led me to these comforting words:

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” – Matthew 6:34

I can’t seem to get enough of all the struggles and challenges that I and my family are going through. Thank God we are all in this together, I can’t imagine what it will be like if I don’t have a family with me.

Now, I choose to stay positive and hold on to the promise of God. I even thought of not joining the upcoming SFC Metro Manila Conference because of what happened, yet I know He has plans for me and He wanted me to attend that event.

As I am creating this post, my boss just grant my emergency loan and I will have the bank cheque tomorrow. My mom will get ready for Bicol and will use the money that my sister gave her. We still have payables but we believe that God’s grace is sufficient and we will get through this together.

I chose to befriend the struggles and challenges and I recognized I have a great Friend in JESUS.

May the will of God be done in us!

Princess


I had a wonderful time with my co-princess Orlane last night. On our way home from the SFC Christian Life Program (CLP), we decided to stop and eat somewhere in Cubao.

During our conversation, God reminded us of our being a princess and how challenging it is to wait for the Knight that God prepared for us. There are questions in our heart that we’ve tried to answer and situations that we reflected upon. With all the teaching in our community (CFC-SFC) especially from the Princess Diaries Retreat that we both attended, we pondered these thoughts:

How are we to know if he’s or he’s not the one?

We have had failed relationship in the past and looking back, we thank God for giving us a way out of those relationship and lead us to His plans. Deep in our heart God put instructions. We simply have to be joyful in doing his will.There are suitors that we turned down and at some point we asked ourselves if we’ve made the right decision; what if He is the one? Deciding whether someone is meant for us or not is something for God to do. He’ll reveal it to us in ways that we can understand and in His own time. At this point, God is calling us not to answer the question whether he is or he is not but make ourselves worthy for whoever He has prepared for us. Being faithful and obedience is of the essence.

How to wait and is it worth it?

As Christians we are called to wait. We are called to be patient. We have to allow God to put order in our lives. Waiting for the right one may be hard but it is always worth it. While waiting we are called to serve and allow God to take care of us, His Princesses. This journey of waiting will come to pass, the gift of singleness is something that we need to enjoy. There are times when we feel sad because of not having someone to be with however it is just temporary.

God is at work on his life right now.

Whenever we feel down and lose hope in finding a real knight, a true Christian brother who will bring us more closer to Him. God will always gives us an assurance. Some brothers / guys out there are also preparing themselves and in search for a Princess. Realizing that puts our heart at peace knowing that God is at work on their lives. Maybe He’s one of the brothers that we are serving with, maybe he’s one of our officemates, maybe he’s a friend. God is still working on Him. He is meant for me but not the person He is right now. I’ll allow God to work on my life too.

We need to be Healed

We’ve been through a lot of hurts and pains, failed and broken relationships; areas that needs healing. When we empty ourselves from all the hurts and pains of yesterday, we can fill our heart with love and compassion enough to nourish a relationship. Once we are healed we can truly love.

As Princess of God we are loved, we are needed and no matter what happened in the past God will always be captivated by our beauty.

We can Never run from HIS love….

This is what I missed


I was swamped with work and activities these past days and I never had a time to post something on this page (good thing I have my journal and it’s still updated). I apologize for not being visible for more than a month, I’ll try my very best to update this every week.

October is a month of celebration. My mom and my niece (my greatest blessings) both celebrated their birthdays during the 1st and 2nd Saturdays. I also received an award for being the Recruiter of the Month for September (unexpectedly). God loves to give surprises. It was my second time to get this award, I won last January however I was in Camarines Sur then for SFC ICON when it was announced.

This past days is also a period of discernment. There are so many things that I want to do, I wanted to have and I wanted to be. I’m a little out of focus lately, there are things needs to be done that I neglected. My bad! I’m thinking if I need to review my priority list or just love the spontaneity. A lot unplanned dates and activities happened this month anyway.

God revealed a lot to me this month. He made me realized how He is protecting my heart for that someone He has prepared for me. I’ve got a suitor and there is a guy who somehow made my heart skips a bit. I prayed hard and turning him down is not easy especially that I don’t want to hurt him. But I believe God is asking me to wait until He answers YES to my prayers. We are 2 months and 11 days away from 2012 and I’m still single. Should I wait again till next year or God will surprise me before this year ends? I’m seeing someone in my dreams lately and until now I can’t understand what that means. I can’t see his face, all I know is in my dreams he is my husband (I’ll write about it next time). Whatever his plans for my lovelife I’m ready. I know it’s worth the wait.

This month is not over yet and I know I have all the reason to love and celebrate every moment of it.

Cheers :)!


It’s Worth the Wait……


Is it worth the wait? Find out how i was able to realize that waiting is a form of service.


THE SACRAMENT OF WAITING
by James Donnelan, SJ

The English poet John Milton once wrote that those who serve only stand and wait. I think I could go further and say that those who wait render the highest form of service. Waiting requires more self-discipline, more self-control and emotional maturity, more unshakeable faith in our cause, more unwavering hope in the future, more sustaining love in our hearts that the great deeds of deering-do that go by the name of action.

Waiting is a mystery – a natural sacrament of life – there is a meaning hidden in all the times we have to wait. It must be an important mystery because there is so much waiting in our lives.

Every day is filled with those little moments of waiting – testing our patience and our nerves, schooling us in self-control – paciencia lang. We wait for meals to be served, for a letter to arrive, for a friend to call or show up for a date. We wait on line at cinemas and theaters,concert and circuses. Our airline terminals, railway stations and bus depots are great temples of waiting filled with men and women who wait in joy for the arrival of a loved one – or wait in sadness to say goodbye and give that last wave of the hand. We wait for birthdays and
vacations – we wait for Christmas. We wait for spring to come – or autumn – for the rains to begin or to stop.

And we wait for ourselves to grow from childhood to maturity. We wait for those inner voices that tell us when we are ready for the next stop. We wait for graduation, for our first job, our first promotion. We wait for success and recognition. We wait to grow up – to reach the stage where we make our decisions.

We cannot remove this waiting from our lives. It is part of the tapestry of living – the fabric in which the threads are woven that tells the story of our lives.

Yet the current philosophies would have us forget the need to wait, “grab all the gusto you can get.” So read one of America’s great beer advertisement – Get it now. Instant pleasure – instant Transcendence. Don’t wait for anything. Life is short – Eat, drink and be merry because tomorrow you’ll die. And so they rationalize us into accepting unlicensed and irresponsible reedom – premarital sex and commitment – against expecting anything of anybody, or allowing them to expect anything of us – against vows and promises – against duty and responsibility – against dropping any anchors in the currents of our life that will cause us to hold and wait.

This may be the correct prescriptions for pleasure – but even that is fleeting and doubtful – what was it Shakespeare said about the mad pursuit of pleasure – “Past reason hunted, and once had, past reason hated”. No if we wish to be real human beings, spirit as well as flesh,
soul as well as heart, we have to learn to wait. For if not we never learn to love someone other than ourselves.

For most of all, waiting means waiting for someone else. It is a mystery, brushing by our face everyday like a stray wind or a leaf falling from a tree. Anyone who has ever loved knows how much waiting goes into it – how much waiting is important for love to grow – to flourish through a lifetime.

Why is this? Why can’t we have right now what we so desperately want and need? Why must we wait – 2 years, 3 years, 5 years and seemingly waste so much time? You might as well ask why a tree should take so long to bear fruit – the seed to flower – carbon to change into diamond.

There is no simple answer – no more that there is to life’s other demands – having to say goodbye to someone you love because either youor they have already made other commitments; or because they have to grow and find the meaning of their own lives – having yourself to leave home and loved ones to find your own path – Goodbyes, like waiting, are
also sacraments of our lives.

All we know is that growth – the budding, the flowering of love needs patient waiting. We have to give each other time to grow. There is no way we can make someone else truly love us or we them, except through time. So we give each other that mysterious gift of waiting – of being
present without making demands or asking rewards. But there is life in the gift we give.

So lovers wait for each other – until they can see things the same way – or let each other freely see things in quite different ways.

There are times when lovers hurt each other and cannot regain the balance and intimacy of the way they were. They have to wait – in silence – but still present to each other – until the pain subsides to an ache and then only a memory and the threads of the tapestry can be
woven together again in a single love story.

What do we lose when we refuse to wait? When we try to find short cuts through life – when we try to incubate love and rush blindly and foolishly into a commitment we are neither mature nor responsible enough to assume? We lose the hope of ever truly loving, of being loved.
Think of all the great love stories of history and literature – Isn’t it of their very essence that they are filled with this strange but common mystery – that waiting is part of the substance – the basic fabric -against which the story of that true love is written.

How can we ever either find life or true love if we are too impatient to wait for it?

Love is a painful risk to take but the risk must be taken for only then will you experience the fullness of humanity and that is love.